Sorry folks , I recently realized (thanks to a friend of mine for pointing it out) that the comment settings on the blog were turned off and some of you who tried to put in comments couldn't do so. Now that the feature is turned on , please feel free to comment on any topic you wish to , whenever you like to. I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions !
As I was updating the comment settings , an interesting thought came to my mind . I really wish I could have such a setting in my life to avoid unnecessary comments in my daily activities. And I so very much would like to keep the setting at OFF when I am in India. My recent visit home made me feel ashamed , embarrassed and at times angry when unrelated people comment on what I should do and how and when. My house maid (who washes dishes and sweeps the floor) tells me that I need to improve my cooking skills since she thought Roh has pulled down since the last she saw him - I had no answer except to walk off. My neighbour tells me its overdue now that we have a baby - what the hell ! And a few of my relatives ask me the wierdest of questions ranging from why I haven't stayed at my in-laws place yet to unwanted tips and suggestions on how I should live my life. I felt like telling all of them 'mind your own business' but then I realize that all that is part of the social bonds we're tied into and theres no escaping out - so instead of making matters worse I smile at them or sneak out quietly.
But I really wonder what makes people think they have a right / say in everybody else's lives ? I would so very much appreciate a close friend tell me if she thinks what I am doing is wrong. Or a close relative call me up / talk to me when I am alone and explain me how they see things. We all need an advisor and confidate from time to time who can prevent us sliding the wrong path , show us how to do things better and have a healthy conversation. A person can do that only if he/she is in close contact with us whether we are in India / US , keeps in touch with us on a regular basis as opposed to passing remarks as and when we meet. And contrary to what people think, its so easy to determine if the comments are genuine(for your betterment) or fake snide remarks. Also people fail to understand that an opinion given is their perception of the world around or what they think is best for us - that shouldn't compel us to do exactly what they advise. The ideal approach would be to evaluate it against our understanding and then determine if we truly need to change or not. If I advise someone - my part should be done when I highlight the shortcomings / suggestions as I see it ; then whether the person implements it or not is their decision - that has nothing to do with our relationship .
'You did your best , forget the rest ' !
